NO ONE HAS BEEN HERE BEFORE...

2009-02-10T00:04:00.002+08:00

Im taking risk.This is the first time im doing this.Haha..actually the second.But i think im getting daring to try out my luck.Haha..the chances are like 10 out of 100.But yea..im still taking the risk.What shit am i doing?Ok,look,im just trying stg different that i have not done before.I dont want to regret without even trying.I have to try.If you really want it,then go for it! right?err..yea..ok..now continue!He's just right in front of you.Come on.But about what?I just tried.What the f***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Everything is bad! I've fallen into a deep and dark hole.The only way for me to return is for him to rescue me.

2009-02-02T14:23:00.002+08:00

shitttttttttt!!! i totally screwed up my presentation.I just couldnt talk in front of many staring people.I just cant!Shit! i totally hate to present or perform in front of many people.I just cant.Hais...where had my confidence all gone? haiya..presentation sucks!

2009-01-29T22:54:00.002+08:00

ok..i had a very weird dream.I dreamt of him.Actually i kind of notice him but not really that noticing.Haha..i kind of dislike him too.I don't know why.Hmm..probably because he looks kind of stuck up?Haha..stereotyping(spell correctly?).Then,untill one night,i dreamt of him.Weird!How come he came to my dream.Jasmine/Sebastian(haha) told me that i should not have dreamt of him unless i have been thinking of him.Lol..haha..but seriously la..i dont even really notice he's existance.Haha..in my dream..he came right up to me,and said.."IF YOU LIKE ME,GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER" haha..weird right.Hmm..then after that dream,i kept on bumping into him.Oh gosh! I just realised..he's cute la!!! TAll,VERY FAIR and GOOD-LOOKING(with emo hairstyle)!omg!i got to find a way to get close to him.Have to..but how?errr...give my phone number like how i dreamt? haha..funny..no..to early to give my number.lol..what if he has a gf?haha..gf only what..not wife..lol...stupid..drop the idea..FOCUS...he's a jerk(hopefully not!) but he do look like one because he is almost perfect.

2009-01-19T23:23:00.002+08:00

my game has started!
what is it?
haha...only i know!
muahahaha...
quote:"dont show your true self to anyone"
Human eats human..hehe..

2009-01-13T23:15:00.002+08:00

HIM.Im so in love with him.He's just an ordinary boy.Nothing apecial yet he caught all my attentions.I care for him and im so irrevocably in love with him.I've waited for him for almost 8yrs.If he comes this year,then all my waiting and patience are not wasted.If he doesn't,i guess i'll have to move on with life and try to forget about him.Have too..my love if all my waiting is worth it,pls tell me.At least let the nature tell me.I dont know how am i going to live without you in my memory.

2009-01-13T00:08:00.002+08:00

Fine...im in dilemma now.Im not sure whether i should go for the china trip.Ok..at first,im the one whom ask hweeping,sasi and sebby to go with me.And now,im the one whom back off.Sorry guys,its not that i did that purposely.My first reason is that im not independent at all.Im too dependent on my family.Secondly,about the food there.Its quite difficult to find halal foods and therefore im gg to starve.Thirdly, that period is my silat competition period.I have my goal and that is to get gold for this year isc.Fourthly,not many muslims are gg to china.So yea..i asked my family once again whether i shld go or not.They said its up to me but they doubt and worry that i could not survive there.So my decision is..im not going to china.Sorry for disappointing hweeping,sasi and sebby.Sorry..didnt mean to..love you guys.

2009-01-11T02:23:00.002+08:00

muahahaha...!!! looks like golden days are coming..i'm learning to be happy and crazy with my friends.HAHa..i keep on doing stupid2 stuffs during lessons that make sasi and hweeping shocked all the time! haha..cool! and yea..the fists game..very fun..i spread them..its a disease! muahahaha..ouh yar..monday is the o level result..my baby..! hopefully..hopefully..hopefully ok? loving ya..muacks!
ouh yar!!! the best thing was that i passed ALL my modules! muahahaha!! eventhough not good grades but yea! at least i passed ALL!! muahahaha..i didnt even study lohs..very bad me.hmm..glad to be me again.ok..ouh yar..

ouh yar! just had the 3 days open house..our silat performance was great!! especially the guys! they were superly funny! wow..they are good mann!! impressive!! muahahaha..

2008-12-26T22:27:00.002+08:00

Just had my 3 days 2 nights silat camp.Ok..was okay..haha..i lost my handphone.Hais...nothing fun in silat.Nothing interest me.This is not what i want.

2008-12-21T22:38:00.002+08:00

wow..sch is opening soon and eww..i dont know why i hate sch sooo much.I know.My classmates.I dont like them frankly speaking.Well,i dont like some of them.Some of them can be so competitive.Whatever.Go to hell.Hate you guys.Oh shit.My results for common tests will be bad.Bad.Shit.In deep trouble bella..u know poly have been kind of hard on me.HARD.THe people.The environment.Everything!Everything!Hate it.Oh god.Help me.

I wish for something good to happen to me.Something good at least.Or something decent yea..that will do.No heart to move on.No spice in my life.Eventhough i might be full of laughter but thats all fake!Plastic!I hate it.I hate it!Get out of my life!

You..get out of my life!Your every existance kills me.I am not always on good terms with you beacuse i love you and thats why im doing it.I cant fall for you.Never.If there's anything i could do to stop this feeling,I would take do.Why must you appear in my life and mess everything w/o even knowing that you're doing it.PAIN!ENDURANCE!Its continuing..once i said i like the feeling of pain.And now..really..i have to endure them.That moment, will be the toughest moment.It will really test my endurance.Hope i could pass it and get over with it.I'll need to gather all my strengths then before the months come.

2008-12-17T23:03:00.002+08:00

Im not sure if i should blog.But the truth is..yea..im blogging.Im currently absorbed in my own world that i just 'created'.Me and him.I can feel his presence but its just that the thick walls between us are too strong for us to break it.But somehow we could feel each other or perhaps its only me.I dont know.Its not hurting me.Not even an ounce because im in love with him.Your presence somehow gives me the strength to move on.Oh gosh..its just a matter of time.And i have the feeling,when the time comes,complications comes along.I hate to make decisions but i'll soon have to when the time comes.I can feel it.Its stronger than before.And everything seems clearer now."Its now and then".How im living my life.Missing an essence.

2008-12-05T14:20:00.002+08:00

oh no..its coming back i guess.Last time i have a crush on that person.And now, hmm..its coming back.Yikes!! throw that feeling away girl.Stay away from that person as far as possible.That person shines my face with laughter.haha!!!

ouh yar..my class now ryt...SOO COMPETITIVE!!! what the fish!!!!!!!!!!!
ppl are soo..err...lets not talk about them..haiyo..cannot make it..

2008-12-05T00:18:00.002+08:00

empty..yea..what i need is u by my side.Oh gosh..im missing him even deeper than before.Oh boy..if only you know how im feeling right now and then.I wish to see you at every corner of my eyes.Only time will tell.Loving you more..loving you deeper..7 years..going to 8 years..im still loving you.I dont believe love at first sight but it happened to me.Time is moving but my heart has stopped 7 years ago.

Im feeling empty right now..i dont know why..actually i know.Ok..people are leaving and im still searching.They didnt wait for me.The left me.But when i am almost settling..and when i called them back,they refuse to come.Fine,now i realise..im on my own.When i fall, I have to stand up on my own feet.It hurts.Yes, it really does.

Mixture of feelings.

2008-12-01T14:34:00.002+08:00

okok..its 2.40 now..and im in comt class.This class brings no stress.Which is great lah..common tests are coming this week, i really have to study and revise my works.Do it now..dont regret later.

Actually, i have nothing interesting to post.I am hungry..i want food.ok..after this i still have mol to do..boring..

Ouh yar..i have silat training later.Hehe..fun!!!! because, i could see those cute boys and girls...!!!!!!ok..im the oldest for the group.
Arggh..im sleepy now..very sleepy..i want to shut my eyes.

Hais..for comt..syafiq is like doing everything.I wanted to help but dont know what to do since he has done evrything..He is the most responsible guy that i've ever seen.

2008-11-30T14:44:00.002+08:00

today is sunday..and yesterday was saturday.I had my friendly match in toapayohwest cc..haha..!! everything turned out well i guess.Except that i lost again to my permanent opponent.haha! dont really mind,because i know i still needs to learn alot alot alot alot..ok..in overall, i had a fun time yeaterday.I dont know why..but everythung seems to go well and i really enjoy myself and im being myself! hehe...i love it..

ok..today is sunday..today's atmosphere is really torturing to me..its soo dull and i got this sad news.My acquitance passed away.IM SO REALLY SAD..he's a nice guy..good islam..and he looks exactly like fahri in ayat-ayat cinta.He's 21 years old.mudah-mudahan allah mencucuri rohnya dan tempatkanlah dia bersama orang2 yang beriman..amin..

im shocked..yea..shocked when i got the news..he's young..and..he had to wnet through alot..i hope he'll be happy up there..dengan allah dan juga arwah ibunya..insyaallah..

2008-11-27T23:21:00.002+08:00

actually im supposed to be studying now instead of blogging..but..who cares...its only going to take a few minutes of my not precious time.lols...

oh yar..my bf bought for me a cute little present..its inside a little pink pouch.At first i thought it was a ring..but then..its a cute crystal hair clip! i love it!! its so sweet..love ya lots! muackx!!!!! i use it everyday lohs..thanks ya..u shine my day! love ya!

common tests are coming and i could feel the heat now! soo humid down here! barbecued!! help!!! no thanks! haha...! take a chill pill(whose line was it?)
wahseh!

2008-11-25T23:26:00.002+08:00

Actually there's nothing much to update.But i just felt like typing.So, yea..here i am.
ok..just had my silat training..it was bad! the instructor for the day kept on scolding.ok..i understand..you are stress because of the championship.But hey..its like..he's being unfair..he is treating people differently.Bleahs..he is not nice..but..he's training not bad la.

ouh yar..common tests is coming and haha..im so unprepared.

ok..i am gaining weight! oh gosh! i am so fat fat fat fat!! i want my body back..my secondary sch body! haha..!
miss sec life soo much..i really had fun in secondary school..but hey..life has to move on..dont turn back siti.

haha..and sasi...really lah..i have the feeling that his maid's name is siti also..haha! funny!

2008-11-24T14:05:00.002+08:00

ah..got monday blues..boring..but luckily, for today, there'll be silat training with those cute kiddy boys and girls..hehe..hope to have fun..ouhs yar..especially with he instructor.hehe..he is becoming handsome.muahaha...

okay..let me tell u my blog..why im having blues..firstly..im getting tired of school especially when i'm surrounded ppl..that i dont wish to mix with.

ouh yar..on friday..we had some talk, some effective talk.Sharing session probably.Okay..what sebby said everything about me are true.He said i am like a lkiquid taking the shape of every bottle that i like.Secondly,he said im still searching for my identity and that i still have not find the true me.YEA!I totally agree with evrything that sebby said.Great sebby.Haha!

True enough..nothing seems to interest me.Everything just doesnt seem to interest me.I am tired of everything.

rainy night

2008-11-19T22:30:00.002+08:00

okay bloggy..today was another study day..hais..sians lohs..tiring..guess what..i just had two quizes today.How wonderful hah..tired u know..and now..im studing for my foilsim as there will be foilsim assignment today.pheww!hectic schedule ppl. okok..i fell in love with this one song.."crush" by david archuleta.muahaha..the lyrics is soo mee...muahaha!

ouh yar..just hope that i could go for the china trip on march..it will be fun going oversea with friends for like 1.5mth.wahseh..long..haha..more bonding ppl..more bonding..hope everything turns right and are on the right places.

You kept me hypnotized,make me mesmerised.Are you holding back like the way i do? ????
Am i crazy or falling in loove or is this just another crush?

2008-11-17T16:13:00.002+08:00

ok..! fine...things arent going the way i hope to go..i've tried not to be affected by what i heard and saw...i keep thinking positive..buit it keeps on haunting me..its like..everything is done on purpose..i couldnt understand..just get things straight ok..? can u..? stop all these shooting and revenging..im tired lohs..u make me feel up so many times..and yet u make me down a zillion times...omg! ur so bad...to think that u make me feel so bad..how cruel can u be...shut up!!!!!

just watched madagascar2..went with my family...the story was not bad at all!overall i gave a 5 star rating..haha...the part that caught is the importance of friendship and love..love has no boundaries...love can go beyond the boundaries...ponder on it...

in IAC class

2008-11-17T11:42:00.001+08:00

haiya..now in iac class..waiting for my group's turn to present..boring lesson..but hey..his hair looks hot today..wow..i soo love it..he is superly cute! gambate!! he's a natural..hey look gal..who do u like now? get things straight..haha..im jumping ard..up and down..im turning2..turning up and down..hehe..

yea..my sis just called..i've been wanting to watch The Coffin..hee..and guess what?
she asked me out to watch that movie..! hee!!

okok..this week ryt.there are many tests..maths la..fats la..compro la..then on top of that, the common tests are coming..! great or what? gambate to me..muahaha...gal2.. haiya..im still in lala land..and..of course..my beauty sleep! muahaha...ouhs yar..hais..

he's o'level ended!!! yahoo!!! gambate boy! love you!! must get into poly..not any poly..but NGEE ANN poly!!!!! so..i can see ya..miss u lots u noe...muacks2!!! hoping to see ya!

2008-11-09T22:52:00.002+08:00

haha..i like my sch weeks..except for tuesday..when there's this particular practical lesson.Im really terriffied of this teacher...she hor..scare me..never smile..then..scold ppl..eeewww...no wonder its like almost all of the ece division student that she thought..hate her soooo much...tuesday is like my scariest day..errrggghhh...dun want see her...! blueks!

hmm...some of my fren not frenly lohs...dun wanna help me..so self-centered..hmph! angry lohs...he is so unreliable..what the...guys2..blueks...! blueks! blueks!
haha...! okok...

okok...i nd to slp..but too many things are in my head..and i refuse to slp...haha...ouh yar...its been long since i met my coaches..abg fili and abg zul..now only abg ramli come...haha...but still can lah...he's actually our main coach kan...

aiya...i feel like im really growing up...making my own decisions and many more...i feel it guys! i feel it..haha!!!!! lols...

ok bloggy...i'll chg ur skin when im free k...i think ard nxt week..hehe...love ya bloggy...nite2!

2008-11-08T23:34:00.002+08:00

ok....im missing him..haha...i have mixed feelings for now..i like him as a fren or..more than that..im not sure...haiya...but i love to know that he is around me..eventhough he's doing somthing else...haha..i like his attention...i love talking to him...but..err...have to throw this feelings away...but i refuse to throw it..cos he is always near me...eventhough he is far from me..haha...get it..? errr...but he likes other gal now...but even if he doesnt like other gal, he wont even turn to me...haha!!! eventhough its just a pretend..i'll choose to believe it..cos thinking of it makes me happy eventhough i know its not for real...but..what if its for real? then i'll be happy..very glad..but i cant take him as a bf cos..err...i just have the feeling that there's an invisible wall between us..i felt it...really..or maybe..im just thinking too much..

many things happened to me nowadays..and i could feel the chg in me..i felt it..hmm..im having mixed emotions..

even when im having mixed emotions, im still glad that i could be there for my dearest bestfren..gal,i love you...u have my shoulder..muacks!

just let me be who i am..and let HIM decide...143!

2008-11-07T12:56:00.002+08:00

im lost in my world..haha...im feeling so fucked up! by some ppl...of cos..my dear2..i nd u..haha..but i guess i'll have to wait nxt year...must come np k..then take same course...then can do everything together...hehe..! 143! haha! ur always by my side when i nd u..haha..!

again..deep down..im hiding myself...plaster a smile on my face...

2008-11-06T12:13:00.002+08:00

haha..im in sch now..having my break..sitting in the atrium..hmm..i have to hide myself from everyone and show the fake me..haha..really? ermm..i dunno..haha...im typing whatever i want to say..dun tink u guys will understand..but nvr mind..

haha.im finally attending silat regularly..haha...just for this week first..see first lohs..haha..had fun in class just now..haha!! i got to punch ppl..at last! haha...azhar...i punched euu many times lohs..haha..he disturb me and i disturb him back..haha..nxt time.during fat class, i want to punch u again..haha!!! lol..kkx..got to rush to class..bye!

2008-11-03T16:25:00.002+08:00

After reading aline's blog..oh goshh...the emo virus have been spread to me..
haha..i miss my old times..with all my happening frens...now..i dun think im me..poly frens and sq frens are soooo wayyyy dif. loh...i love my sq frens more...they are sooo unique...they understand me totally..eventhough we're the low end sch. but who cares! as long as we're happy with each other..now in poly..its like..hmm...im counting my days to fridays..haha...yea..i nd my gals and boys back...haha...

2008-10-30T23:47:00.002+08:00

day by day..im getting more fragile..but ppl might not notice it cos i dont show..i feel so sick..i want to puke..i looked happy..but deep inside..haha..!
i want to cry out loud..and scream argggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!
i dun know why i bcum like this loh..hmmmmmm......

2008-10-24T12:19:00.002+08:00

if i were given a choice of whether to live in darkness or with life full of colours, i would choose to live in darkness with one special condition which is, you have to be by my side..haha...i know you would cause you'll come to me as long as i rmb u..n eventhough i dn gold u in my heart, u'll always be by my side..oh gosh...why am i spouting nonsense..?

i dont know why..but eversince i enter poly..my life has been a disastrous to me..hais...

at last updated

2008-10-16T15:21:00.002+08:00

haha..at last i updated my blog hehe...life had been ok lah..nothing fun and excited happened to me...silat has been disastrous to me...silat boring lah..nothing excite me in silat..i want my band la...hehe..oh yar..i got my result alrdy..gpa 3.5 not good hor..hmph! but it satisfy me lah..cos i didnt study at all..haha...bye..

2008-08-28T22:35:00.002+08:00

i just read ur blog.im so sorry..i didnt mean to play with your heart..im soo deeply sorry..i didnt know that my msges is gona hurt you.im so sorry..u sounded mad..u shldnt have fallen for me..im such a bad girl..i've hurt you,you see..once again im truly sorry..

nothing

2008-08-28T21:51:00.002+08:00

woo...its been a long time since i blogged. That's because nothing special happen to me. Haha..currently im working very hard to lose all these fats in my body! haha...abg zul da tegur da...oh pls...i dun want to play in class E..i really have to burn all these fats!!! come on siti..u can do it..!

olympic just ended..sad...i want to see more of zhang yining playing table tennis!!! i just love her..i think she's great!! believe it or not..she's my idol for sports..! hehe!!! jia you zhang yining!

fasting gg to start soon..im so looking forward to it..so hopefully i could lose weight by fasting and haha...silat training!! woots..

ciao..!

2008-08-16T17:28:00.002+08:00

sorry dudes..no time to update my blog..was busy studying la..im not smart..so must study hard.but then right, i have the feeling that could not pass my eltech paper.arrrggghhh...!!! yea guys..im so scared of failing!! pls..just let me scrape through since i cant score.hais..i dun wanna repeat the module..!!! pls god..help me..ur my savior!!!

hmm..you said my actions now is just a temporary..i dont know..sorry if my dont know ans is going to hurt or disappoint you..sorry boy.

hais..holidays are coming and im looking forward to it! hehe..but i still dont know what im going to do during the hols..2 mths!! wooohooo!!!

im happy when im with my counselor.i know.its just a one sided like from my side.but yea..u said u need time to know me. haha..its ok la counselor..dun force yourself to like me if you cant. anyway..i like having you ard me..make me feels good and satisfied..

2008-08-11T23:14:00.003+08:00

posting...today nothing interesting happen..just a normal at home..i help my mum to paint her room.mine was done by my beloved sister! hehe..i didnt help her at all..haha..was out meting my love yesterday la.Then went out for lunch with mama and bro.haha..my bro so naugthy la..always disturb me one..always wanna try silat stunts on me.backflip la..somersault la..and many more stunts.haha..! then went home.he wanna on the comp but dunno how to the plug and stuffs.haiya..so i need to help him while im busy sleeping somemore.haha..busy..yea..busy sleeping..then yea..study eltech la..

then yea...bye...chiao..

2008-08-10T00:09:00.002+08:00

haha..whenever i am doing my tutorial,i must stop and write a post.haha..my habit..just couldnt focus on one stuff.

haha..my friend ask me this weirdest qn..'do u want to tackle me?' lol..he is my sec fren..haha..then my reply wld be of course no lah! u my fren wad for tackle fren? then he goes..'what if i tackle you?' then, haha..i chg the topic..what nonsense la boyy...haha..u and ur crappiness..

oh yar..my sis told me that,what for go for a guy that doesnt likes you when you already have one that likes you deeply.Then i was like numbed.I realise now. I should give him a chance. Give him a chance.yea..really give him a chance.I dont want to break your heart.So..yea..but if you're already forgetting me..then dont bother to like me.But if you still who you are...then probably yea..ask me that qn and i will ans yes..the prob is you nvr ask that qn b4..

2008-08-09T20:44:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a bad day for me.Really bad.When i reach to megabytes,to eat,i was in a good mood cos aline and yuting(jade) met me to go to the class gathering.but before that we went to eat first la..we were famished.Oh yar,sebby,hp and sasi eat with us too..introduced them to my friends. Then,when in megabytes,i receive this msg and call.I was damn frustrated and err..that at that moment itself,i cried! yes,i cried in megabytes.i really dun wan to cry but i couldnt take it anymore.Hais..what a sad thing..my j1 saw me cried alrdy.haiss...only they know what happen..i dont want to say anything about it.At that time,i just felt that i couldnt take it anymore and im just too tired.so..tears rolled down my cheeks..arggh..hais..but even when im crying i could still joke with them.Tats because i dont want themto give me that extra attention..hai..but thanks for comforting me guys.

After that we headed back to np.sasi,sebby and hp went to maths class.I skipped to go the gathering la..then left aline,jade n me.we went for dessert at sunset way..hmmm..the ice cream was yummy..!! Tanks jade for introducing us that ice cream shop.okies..at least the ice cream make me abit happier i think..then met lala..haha..!!! was so happy to see him.hehe..long time no see dude..then we went to meet the rest of our 4bs at bb mrt station...haha..!! chat alot mann...hehe..i feel quite light when i meet them.then they go to wenyan's hse first.some of my frens and i go later cos we're waitin for another fren.Took bus to there.Then,when we alight there,we got lost in a maze.haha..the place is so ulu..and..we had to climb up and down hill.haiyo..leg aching la..hais..we got lost for abt 30mins before we reach his hse.hais..jln dermawan..then the rest of the class had already eaten..haha...then those who are late,eat la..haha..we reach at 8pm like tat..haha!!! lost..then went home ard 10pm..was drizzling..hehe..so nice!!! really felt light!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe..

i love my 4B..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-08T00:57:00.002+08:00

waaa..im tired of doing engmec tutorial.cannot get the correct answers.hey..stress..but nvr mind..must move on.go nabilah..go..haha..i think im not going to sleep..haha..ya ryt..

oh yar..he msg me..to wish me good night and good luck to me and counselor.and i was like err..seems like he know who the counselor is..haha..no..cannot be..i dont think so..aites..too sleepy to write long2.so ya..bye.

2008-08-07T01:03:00.003+08:00

soul searching? yea..i need one..sebby know quite alot me..haha..hweeping knows alot la...
he said im in a confusion.yea..rather i am..i just need that someone to lie on.And im not searching or whatsoever.Im just craving for that attention.Love and care.Care from my counselor yea..probably..err..u care? haha..but i need the love from someone..weii..dun tink im desperate aites..yea...love..i need ur shoulder now..i feel so haha..!! my term..hole in the heart.not filled.

oh yar..dunno y la..i just feel at ease and protected whenever euu ask me whether im alright..or what im doing..its not that im in love or i like him more than a friend.dun worry..if i did,u'll stay a distance away from me..i know..haha..just feel like borrowing ur shoulder at times...but haha..yea...sure u'll go..hell no..haha..aites..

2008-08-06T23:26:00.002+08:00

hey my blog..haha..ur always here for me..here is where i write all about my sentiments in.Love you blog..hehe..my diary..i prefer to call you that.I had silat training training just now.Waliaos..didnt perspire at all..saded.It was a very slacking training.Haha..i called my sis to come down so that we could go home together.Love her.Haha..she looked cute with that keppelfels overall..haha..!! Then i straight away go home home w/o chging..eeew..looked so awful!! i know..i always look awful.

Haha..i think im just being sensitive or i need to find who i AM.Hais..just couldnt click with malays.Dont know why la..i did try though.Must try harder.

That idiot manager of that restaurant!! you better admit that you're at fault!! I tell you..better guard your ass..or you're going to be impotent soon!! Hate you to the core!! Im so going to quarrel with you and im not going to lose.No matter what. arrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! You're worse than anything that is bad in this world.You just shuts me off!! hate you!hate you!HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-06T16:06:00.002+08:00

okay..im crying in sch library alone..lucky im alone..i dun wish to have ppl seeing me crying..i understand that what ur going through now..i understand dear..but..i just miss the times when we were sharing lame jokes and laughing all the way..ok..we chat online..and we really tell each other what we need to...u miss me..n i miss you too..alot...!! dear..do some soul searching okay..? dont worry..im always by ur side like b4..i nvr chg..yea..you realised that you've hurt me..ur just like b4..know whats happening to me..we have the bluetooth connection..yea..we both cried while chatting..hmm..so emo..to make us feel better, we are going to meet at b4 my silat starts..okay..love you..muacks!!! i still rmb the first time we met..its in the band room..we exchange names and yea..we got teh chemistry and even bluetooth!! love you..

missing you..love you..and yea..lets be happy like before..

2008-08-06T15:29:00.002+08:00

haha..today i went to school for AS lesson..kind of interesting..the lecturer went so fast in explaining that i was like "huh? class end alrdy?" haha..aites..after that at 11.30 went to SIM to eat with hwee ping,sebby and aisha..then bumped into some azhar,shireen an shikin eating there also..waliaox..eat nvr ask me along..haha..aites..then my food was like taking forever to ready.haha..so long u noe..but nvr mind la..i dun mind waiting..haha..im a patient person ya ryt..ok..lucky got them to acc me eat at there if not i wld have to crave again..haha...must acc me again yea..then meet sasi,din and saiful in lib..study tog..now they went home alrdy leaving me alone..im staying back for my silat..

yea..sorry..yst i told them that im going silat but didnt turn up..sory la..i just couldnt find my silat pants tats y..hahas!! sory yea...

2008-08-04T17:24:00.003+08:00

today i do not need to go sch..hehe..cool...then stayed at home doing online tutuorials..haha..got to finish it la..im so behind time..so got no time to lose..hehe..but still have to post.

aites..yst night, he asked me this very personal qn. I answered honestly.Hais..i think he is disappointed with my answer.But what to do..thats the fact.sorry yea..dont mean to hurt you at all..i did try my best to like you..but just cant..sorry once again..cheer up aites..we're still friends aites..smile kx..

hehe..today i fast..later at night got silat training with the kids..haha..! only me and the instructor is adult..haha..well..to them im an adult haha..cos they are sooooooo kids...age 4 to 10..haha...but i enjoy! haha..taufiq(instructor) always laugh at their foolish act HAHAHAHA!! and i did laugh too...haha...sooo..funny and entertaining..hehe...no stress..!

oh yar..hehe...friday got a class gathering..hehe..look forward to it..missing my 4Bs...love you guys..muacks!!!

2008-08-03T21:37:00.002+08:00

hehe..yst the bdae barbecue was fun!! i love it!! played with my cousins..hehe..love them lots loots!!! played captain ball,volleyball.ice and freeze and do some stupid stunts at the playground..haha..i ate alot u noe...3 pieces of cake..and the barbecue foods la..i think my weight is 100kg already..!haha...yea..nvr go for the NDP..oh yar..yst reach home at 1.30am!! haha...i enjoy la..hehe....haha..lols..aites..

havent study for exam yet u noe...arrrggghhh!!!!!! nabilah or siti or wadever ppl call u..wake up la gal!!! got to study!!! ur not born smart u noe..hais...must have the motivaton onnnnnnn!!!wooohoooooo...!!!!!!!!! jiayou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gogogogogogogo!!!!!!!!

bleahs...i miss you...but i just have to brush the feeling off...

2008-08-02T12:47:00.002+08:00

nothing special actually happened to me..haha..oh yar..hahas..my uncle just calledl..he is giving us 2 NDP preview tix..hehe..me and my sis want to go..but then hais..got a barbecue bdae party..my mum sure wont allow me and my sis to escape from this bdae thingy..yea.my mum is quite strict you know..but..haha..my sis is going to plead her..hope we can go..oh yar..yst sebby,hweeping,sasi and i went to SIM to have our lunch.Haha..we're so going to eat there again..hehee..yea..as usual talked a lot.I felt so bonded again..haha..yea..

Haha...to my counselor..can i still pour everything to you? haha..i like the feeling of having someone that i could rely on to when i really need it..and you gave me that feeling..hee..

want to go for the NDP badly..pls let me go k mama?

2008-08-01T15:14:00.002+08:00

hahaha..!my friends kept pestering me to update my blog. And so here i am..updating..hehe..sorry..nowadays i have been too sleepy to update la..haha..ok..im taking this oppurtunity in maths tutorial to update my blog..haha..oh yar..yst sebby,hweeping,sasi and me chat alot in library..study a little then chat alot.haha..we talked about nonsense stuffs and sebby was so on as usual..haha..felt happy after chatting with my them..felt so bonded..hehe..aites..

now studying for el-tech..haha..my el-tech sucks la..hais..oh yar..CATS and AS presentations are finally over..yessa! hehe..now..for the exam.After exam me and sasi plan to work together.hehe..aites..work for the 2 mths..hehe..oh yar..not forgetting my mission..hehe..mission possible..! lols..

aites..yst met my beloved friend aline..went to mac to chat and study..haha..the mac ryt..hais..very hard pain one...no aircon!! haha..ever mind..at least im happy enough that aline was there..haha..she donated some of her stationaries to me..cos she said my pencil case looked so pathetic..haha..thats my style gal..haha..since sec sch..hmm..haha..i'll treasure the expensive stuffs aite aline?? hahaha..!!! love you...muacks...!!

aites..okay..i think you dont have to know who the counselor is..seriously..dont have to be so curious okay??hmmm...oh yar..u want a date?? haha..u sounded so desperate u noe..haha..just tell me what u think u want me to know..dont need a date i guess..hehe..

okay counselor..yea u read my blog..haha..im not being ignored i take it..hehe..now im no longer in emo state rdy..hehe..

aites peeps..tats all for today..! dada..

2008-07-30T12:33:00.002+08:00

aites...done with my AS test..hais...i burnt midnight oil to study for the test u noe..waa..first time in history that i studied..dunno la..somehow i've gotten the strength and motivation to study..hehe..maybe cos my frens are all hardworking..so..must be on par with them..haha...yea..yst nite study while chatting..thanks..euu had somehow accompanied me in the night while studying..haha..chat quite alot la..nonsense stuffs..hmm..yea..told him i like him..but he yea..kinda ignore it..haha..siti got ignored!how bout that...haha..but yea...its just that i admire him cos he is clever,cute,bubbly and he is my counselor at times..haha..especially when im in emo state..haha..let it be like what i have said to you"i like you as in i like you" i myself dont know how to define..aites...

Oh yar..AS test was kind of easy but dunno whether they are the correct answers..haha..well..its over..hehe..got to chiong for my eltech and engmec..exams just round the corner got to study..oh yar..hehe..sasi..get well soon..dont get too stressed up...relax a little la aites..? its just an exam haha..what am i talking..?hmm...

today got silat..but haha..still considering whether to go or not..hais..no heart in silat..i want my band back la..i miss all the scores..notes..and of course!! my baby(trombone)!!! wonder who is using you now..i guess no one aites? hmm...dont get dusty aites..someone..help me shower it plsss....

thats all peeps...haha

2008-07-27T20:54:00.002+08:00

on saturday..went to east coast with my silatians...hahax..so many people turned up..i had a great moment..they were so happening and yea..very fun!! woohoo..!haha..! we got games..and the games were very fun..hahax..i was blindfolded and my grpmates had to direct me..haha..i banged into many trees..and got a two bruised marks..but it was so damn fun..my grp was always the losing team..and the losing team would be thrown into the sea..haha..!!
i managed to escape! because..luckily..i did not bring extra clothings..haha...so they gave mercy..haha!!! reached home ard 8+...

today..i got religious class..and after that went to my aunt's got 'kenduri' food was damn nice..haha!!ate alot..and then got my nephew la...abt 5 mths old..soooo cuteeeeeeee!!! she got a very strong baby smell..i like it..haha..ok..reach home at ard 8..then wash my make ups and apply masker..hehe..

exams just round the corner..i havent even start studying sehx..ok..got to study rdy..jiayou!! must study ok nabilah..or..siti..?! study..study..study..

ciao...

2008-07-25T17:41:00.003+08:00

Friday...
School was just plain studying today.Hehe..boredom..hahas..but never mind la..study now then later got 2mths break!Hehe..but im not sure what i will be doing for that 2 mths.
oh yar,yst did the video for CATS.It was fun.Sasi acted well too!HAha..she could dance hip-hop euu noe..hahaa..what a discovery..hmph..film at yadana's house.We took about an hour to shoot.That was kind of fast.But yea..i think i acted well and hahaaa! I really looked obese la...must lose weight ok? Jia you..I want to lose 5kg and grow abt 0.5m taller..hehe..must exercise and jump alot.haha..
In maths tutorial class,we did e-quiz.I did kind of not okay.Hmm..the weather is so cooling.Makes me want to sleep.Haha..im sleeping while im walking to class.Lucky didnt bang into him. Im like a corpse now..typing lazily..hais..tmr going to east coast park with the silatians.Not sure whether it will be fun.Because,i couldnt really mingle well with my malay friends.They give me kind of insecureness.But when im with my chinese and indian friends,i feel yea,comfortable and be myself.Probably thats because my circulation of frens are chinese and indians since young.Hehe..called my bestfren.I felt very relief when i heard her voice.Miss you girl!

oh yar,my sis is working now. And she is getting skinnier.She look like a skeleton while im gaining weights.haha..! okay.. my girlfren aline..dont be sad okay? Dont worry..i will be by your side always.Im here for you and im all ears. Love you! Ingyin also..i Love you!

2008-07-23T23:43:00.002+08:00

wednesday..

School was like other normal school days.After classes ended,i went home to take camera then headed to causeway point because sasi needed it for her interview for CATS.I tagged along and met many new friends for the interview.I met 4 very friendly guys.2 are ex-convicts while the other are just their friends.We get along well and laugh.They are very nice and funny guys.ok ppl out there,ex-convicts are actually way nicer than ordinary ppl(no offence).They are full of ideas and indeed smart you know!haha..oops..cannot praise so much la..later someone jealous..hahax!!!

And for now,im in lying in bed,posting and haha..do last minute eng mec tutorial..haha..things piling up..

here's the lists that i must do but still pending since like 5 mth ago..lucky the due dates are on August..

1.Do web tutorial for eng mec
2.Do web tutorial for eltech
3.Do tutorial for eltech

i think thats all la..yar..should be..hahax!

hole in the heart..? yea..still la...85812..

2008-07-22T22:31:00.003+08:00

haha..this is like my 3rd posts of the day..haha!!

just got home from silat..training was fun..guys did many crazy stuffs..super funny..haha..u guys made me happy for a moment..hehe..

yea..im sad..ok..yea..ok...some of my frens call me emo..hmph..probably i am becoming one..
ih yar..just watched "beach.ball.babes." this episode really made me cry(in my heart)..haha..im hurt la..sasi..you know..firstly..i just feel thai have lost my bestfriend i love her alot! but she dont care about me alrdy..im sad.im sad.Secondly,THERE'S A HOLE IN MY HEART which means everything..! can i just shout my emptiness?? can i..?! arrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhh!
oh god..help me..!

oh.can i just cry on someone's shoulder..? on someone i love..?
probably wont..they wont allow me..because they are taken.you guys are selfish.
help me..im drowning with my tears.i need band..probably that would help.

can i go to class with my eyes shut..?
so that i couldnt see anyone?

85812..

feeling good..

2008-07-22T17:15:00.002+08:00

okay..i met my CATS friends to do the video thingy and stuffs. Actually we decided to do the shooting today.But then again..since we are short of man power, we decided to postpone the shooting again.haha..this was like the 2ndtime we postponed t..haix..what to do..not professional la..anyone interested to act pls call bla...bla..bla..hmm..ok..stop it siti..its lame.yea..today got silat. Seriously la...i got no interests in silat already la..im just waiting to quit.haha..! The only motivation for me to go silat is just to lose weight to ehem..impress that someone..who seems to be rival now..haha..i dont know why nowadays, he is acting weird towards me and by the look from his face, can see that he dislike me. Even sasi notice it la..lyk u know..WHAT THE FISH!!!!!!! sasi trying to find out something from what happened today..hehe..secret PI arhx..?haha..hope you get the answer..then tell me la horx..

off for silat training(hope there's no running)...

2008-07-19T00:22:00.000+08:00

I couldnt sleep so..here i am posting..Hehe..sch was normal for me..oh yar..my long lost bestfren msged me..i had tears in my eyes when i think of her.She already got a boyfriend and so she is drifting apart from me..she once told me that she would keep this friendship but look at her now..always busy with her boyfriend.Once she msged me saying that she still loves me.OK gal..i know you still loves me(i hope so).But you know what..i loves you more.I love the old ingyin and not ivory(still the same person right).I want our friendship to be like last time.The regular lame jokes and the stories that we shared last time...i want them back..but..you are a changing person now...ok..im getting emo now...ok..anyway..ingyin i love you alot and i miss you aloot.muackx.

now..to my the "hole in my heart" chapter..hahax..
yea..as usual..my heart still have this hole.Apparently no one wants to fill it. Haha..with a cement also can la.Hmph..yea..the 7 yrs guy..i just hope that next year..you got posted to ngee ann.hehe..waa..if lyk that then same primary,secondary and poly sch lei..waa..ceh2..hehe..

haha...yea..i got a crush on this guy(dont want to tell who). He makes my sch days past so fast..and makes me look forward to go to sch.Haha..well..thats just a crush..but if it turn out to be a relity..hey..why not..but for sure..it wont come real..because im siti.haha..y cant i get the love or crush i want?

when will you ever realise me..? haha..how to realise when you dont even tell him..but then ppl say when you love someone..the love can be seen through your eyes..haha..i wonder if its true..

signing off..bluekzx..

hole in my heart..

2008-07-17T19:06:00.000+08:00

today was a normal day for me..go sch..den go home la..but dont know why i feel so sleepy..i could sleep even when im climbing the stairs. Nowadays, every now and then that i wake up from sleep,you will always be in mind and heart. No matter how hard i tried to forget you, you are still there.Hey..i really try to forget you. But cannot le..help me to forget you pls..i tried liking some other guys..but it just doesnt help. ok..i think thats the reason why i have a hole in the heart..when will you ever notice me?when...haix..im in a despair..i harbour this for lyk 7 yrs rdy..and i just dont know why i could not hold on any longer..you are just soo mean..im bleeding inside eventhough ppl always see me with laughter.im hurt..yes..im hurt deeply..i just hope that this is just a crush..arrrrrrggghh...since pr5 i lyk him..untill now..ok..its absurd u noe!!! wake up siti! wake up siti! but i just couldnt..

85812..(no one wld figure out this code)

wednesday..

2008-07-17T08:16:00.000+08:00

ok..my eecad test was lyk so not good.I submit the files 40seconds late..i hope i did moderately good..blame on the the autorouting la..i could not place the components properly and the maximum percentage i could get was 98% and worst thing i did not save it! alamak...den i end up submitting the 95.5% autoroute.haix..sad la..ok..then all the funny reactions i noticed from the two beside me,sasi and hwee ping..they were lyk pleading the lappy to give them 100% routing..they did some devotion..hmph..i did some too..but apparently my lappy ignored me and gave me..95.5% sad...its ok lappy..dun wan fren u rdy..hmm..blehx..nanny nanny poo poo..haha! ok..while waiting for my sis to come to skool and go silat tog..i spent my time with sasi in the library..she studied..but i did not..haha..tat is soo me...tats bad gal..dun do tat again kx..hmm..lyk real...oh yar..in between we chat alot la..about her future fiancee..(i wish!)hehe..and about..other stuffs..hee..hee..oh yar..sasi said that i look lyk cleopatra(did i spell it correctly?) hahax...not cleopera..ok..learnt..hmm...maybe because i put on thick eyeliner..hehe..(psst..it is my intention to look abit lyk cleopatra..hee..) but my face too chubby and not pretty..so how to look lyk one..haix..sadding..ok..my fringe make my face look squarer..tats the comment i receive alot..ok..accepted..nieway..im ending with .."i got a hole in my heart"

on the verge of revealing..

2008-07-16T19:08:00.001+08:00

ok...i have said something wrong...i almost revealed the one that i like in the class..omg!!! if i reveal it..them im doomed..ok..the story goes lyk this...jux now i went library with sasi..then i bumped into anthony and dave..both of them were doing cats project..ok..me and sasi were doing our stuffs. Dave came up to us and we chit chat for quite a long time..hmph..dave..i didnt know that u are the type that is easy to get along with..ok..den we chat until i almost blurted out the name of the guy..dave kept on guessing but i just have to keep it a secret.sory..cannot tell la..hmm...apparently..i have a crush on one of the guy in our class.he is ok..bla..bla..bla..in overall..i can conclude that he is a male. waaa..what an i talking?ok.get back siti..oh yar..im waiting 4 my sis for lyk ages for my shirt and pants. sad.silat already started and when i reached at the silat place,i realised that i was locked up! because they went for a run round the sch.ok..lucky im late..hehe..oopx..! ok..abg zul turned up..and here i am again waiting for my shirt and pants. and silat was lyk almost finishing..ok..back to the library scene. i manage to help sasi put on eyeliner.im so proud that my artwork turn out nice and dave also complimented.tanx!haha..ya..sasi looked really pretty with the eyeliner that i help her to put on.class..u should see sasi.!she was really beautiful..with just a touch of eyeliner she look amazing!waa..can go miss universe sehx..oh ya..not forgetting the makeup artist yea..

hole in my heart..

2008-07-16T16:14:00.000+08:00

ok..today reach skool at 8.30..tats quite early..when i reach skool i bump into aisha n walk to class tog..she got a bet..n she won a bubble tea..ok..i also wan lei..one HONEY GREEN TEA PLS..den aisha and din was lyk u no shame ar..hahax..ok..den stat kiwi's lesson.Hmph..i lyk his lesson cos he is giving me extra attention always..dunno y..he will ask the whole class whether the class understands his teaching den he will look at me directly and ask again..understand? then i will be lyk..ya..understand..ok..then AS lesson..waa..i pay attention sehx lyk finally..hahx..hmm..oh yar..y am i toking about lessons..tats soo boring..ok..now my life..i just cut my hair..n the whole class was lyk eeeeyeeew...siti!ur hair!err..not nice la...y u cut ur hair..not nice lei..ok..guys..i accept it..its not nice..but i lyk it la..so..hmph..i lyk my hair la..den dont know y i got so emo on tat day(16july)..sad..i feel..so empty..den sasi came to my rescue..she say my hair was nice..n i look cute..ok tanx sasi! i appreciate it..ur my saviour..den heesharm oso came online n cheer me up..ok..he is so sweet..den at nite..i end up sleeping at ard 12.30pm..chatting with sasi and heesharm..tanx guys..den sleep..sleepy la..haix..tmr got eecad test..wad the..! i hate autorouting..!